youre lurking in front of me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize