i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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