Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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