This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
