she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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