too bad you live with your parents still
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
