no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
