you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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