are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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