i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
