you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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