he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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