im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
