I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
