idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
