you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
BRING THE BAGELS
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
