i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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