Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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