I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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