he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
