My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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