google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
