All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
