She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
