You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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