he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We need to get me chipped asap
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
