I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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