girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
