Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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