Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
