i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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