They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
