I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
