were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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