And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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