nut hugger
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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