Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
