It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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