did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
