Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I will die if light touches me.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize