I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh god it's open bar.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize