im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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