Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
