the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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