we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm determined to sit on that face.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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