just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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