i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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