belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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