Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
