girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
