I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
