u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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