He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Two words: nipple clamps
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