shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
