Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize